STEP 5 - Never FOCUS on the wrong done to you.
Precious child of God, please remember that every action is preceded by a thought. The Bible says that as a man thinks in his heart so is he. Therefore, what you spend your time focusing on, thinking on, you will ultimately become. Ensure every thought is brought to the obedience of Christ and run each thought, particularly when the temptation to bear grudges, take offence and thus refuse to forgive is at its highest point, through what I call 'Sieves of thought'.
Dear saint, not every thought that comes to your mind is originally yours to own, hence the need to scan each one through the sieves I mentioned earlier. There are eight sieves which are: TRUE, NOBLE, JUST, PURE, LOVELY, GOOD REPORT, VIRTUOUS, PRAISEWORTHY. There are some thoughts that are true but not pure. A thought of getting even may be 'just' but it is neither pure nor virtuous. By the time every thought has passed through the eight sieves, you will be hanging on only to the thoughts that please Father God, never to thoughts of revenge or unforgiveness.
This is God's divine injunction to all His children, "17Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18"…..live peaceably with all men". 19Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, ”says the Lord. 20Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. "
CONFESSION - My thoughts shall be put through the eight sieves of thought, thus bringing every thought to the obedience of Christ. Therefore, I shall, by God's grace, repay evil done to me with good.
Matt 6:12; Matt 6:14-15; Matt 18:21-35; Mk 9:23; Mk 11:25-26; Lk 11:4; Rom 12:17-21; 1 Cor 13:4-8; 2 Cor 10:4-5; Eph 4:30-32; Phil 4:8; Col 3: 12-13; Heb 12:1-2.